


Vice

by RileySavage7



Series: Vice Universe [1]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Politics, American Politics, Crack Treated Seriously, Episode one has abortion mentions, Gen, Humor, Satire, Swearing, Veep - AU, if that's a trigger for you, lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 08:12:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16364150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RileySavage7/pseuds/RileySavage7
Summary: Vice President Sasha M. Banks tries to navigate her way through shady DC politics with a group of inept staffers. Will she reach her dream of becoming the first female president of the United States of America?Based on the premise of the HBO satire, Veep.





	1. Abortion

**Author's Note:**

> This was so much fun to write! I love the Veep universe and I'm so happy I've found a way to fuse it with WWE. 
> 
> Each chapter *should* read as an episode. Many of the "episode" plots came from the show, so I won't take all the credit.

**The vice president’s office. 09:15**

  
“And for your interview with Good Morning America, I was thinking we could maybe go with this white little number by Versace...” vice-presidential aide Sami Zayn said, holding the aforementioned dress up in front of his tall frame.

  
“Urg, Versace? Really Sami? That brand is so tacky... Donnatella is so ashamed to be associated with it, she keeps changing her fucking face”. Sasha looked at the dress with some distain and continued paging through the newspaper.

  
“Well... your stylist recommended it, ma’am”.

  
“Well then she’s an idiot”.

  
“He... it’s a he. His name is Tyler Breeze?”

  
“Oh. Well then he’s an idiot. Get me something that I can wear that doesn’t make me look like a New Jersey housewife – preferably by a French designer”. Sasha glanced at her watch. “Where the hell is Bayley? It’s pass nine in the morning and I haven’t her yet”.

  
Sami looked around in the office, as if Bayley might be there.

  
“She’s not in here, Sami... ‘less she’s hiding under my fucking desk. Which she isn’t”, Sasha said slightly agitated. A lot agitated really. This was her second month into her new job as vice president of the United States. Sure, it wasn’t the position she was aiming for, but America had made their choice and she was left on the sidelines. Fortunately – so far- the president-elect chose her as his running mate. When they won, Sasha got the position of vice-president. The first woman of colour to be vice-president at that. It was no small feat. If only her chief of staff was here so that they could begin their staff meeting.

  
The office door opened in a wiff.

  
“Madam vice-president I am so sorry I’m late. Traffic was a mess and then the barista got my order wrong...”

  
Sasha cocked her head slightly. “You’re late... and yet you had time to pick up an almond croissant?”

  
“I haven’t eaten in like 20 hours ma’am...”

  
“It’s always food with you, Bayley, isn’t it?” Sasha folded the newspaper and flung it in the direction of Sami, who caught it nicely with one hand.

  
“It won’t happen again, madam vice president”, Bayley answered sheepishly before sitting on the sofa opposite Sasha.

  
“Very well...”, Sasha pointed to the unopened bottle of water on her desk. “That water isn’t gonna swim its way to me by itself, Sami” she pointed out. The ginger haired man quickly shuffled over to desk to get his boss the water.

  
The door to the office of the vice-president opened yet again. This time a dishevelled red head entered, carrying a stack of papers in one hand and a half eaten donut in the other.

  
“Good morning, Madam Vice President... Sorry I’m late but I needed to drop me dog off at the sitter and then...” the woman with the heavy Irish accent took a bite of the pasty and continued with her mouth full of food. “...then me cab driver had a heart attack while he was drivin’. It was a mess, we ran into a fire hydrant – luckily though I jumped out of the cab and ran the rest of the way ‘ere. Didn’t even have to pay or nothin’”. She finally comes to a halt and joins Bayley on the sofa opposite Sasha.

  
“Becky... Every day of my life – and I literally mean every day- I ask myself how you still work for me”, Sasha noted and shook her head in utter disbelief.

  
“Ma’am, It really won’t happen again. I mean, the odds of it happening again are quite low... I’m no Dana, but even I can calculate that”. Becky continued eating the rest of her donut.

  
“I heard my name being uttered”, the monochrome tone of Dana Brooke could be heard as she opened the office door. She elegantly sat down next to Sasha and glanced over at the vice president.

“I hope you will excuse me, ma’am, but I was on the phone with a White House statistician. Apparently POTUS is very impressed with your recent poling numbers”.

  
Sasha had an instant look of confusion on her face, but that was quickly replaced with annoyance.

  
“That goony-looking fucker has been polling me? For what?!”

  
Dana cleared her throat before she spoke. “Well, ma’am, POTUS wants to make sure that you were the right candidate for job. According to sources close to him –and you know I never indulge in trivialities such as office gossip – he wasn’t exactly too keen on making you his vice president in the first place, but the Party insisted”.

  
Sasha took a sip of water and ran her tongue across her teeth several times.  
“That fucking piece of shit POTUS knows he would have never gotten the black vote had it not been for me. If he chose Rollins as his running mate he wouldn’t have won. He’d be balls deep in some Jamaican hooker’s snatch on vacation in Kingston right now.” Sasha took a deep breath. “I really hope he gets assassinated in office”.

  
Sami, standing by the veep’s side as he always does, nodded in agreement.

  
The door flung open again and this time Mike Mizanin strode in, looking as confident as ever.

  
“Madam Vice President”, he announced and took his seat next to Dana. “Children”, he greeted the others in the room.

  
“Mike, you’re fifteen minutes late. Can none of my staff ever be on time?” Sasha asked to no one in particular.

  
“I was here early, ma’am”, Sami added softly.

  
“Staff that actually matter, Sami”.

  
“Of course, ma’am. Sorry, ma’am”. Sami looked down at his feet and folded his hands in front of him.

  
“Alright – since everybody’s finally showed up... We can begin the meeting”. Sasha turned to the blonde woman furiously typing away on a Macbook. “Renee, you’re taking the official minutes of the meeting, right?”

  
“Have been for the last sixteen minutes, ma’am”, secretary to the vice president Renee Young said, never once looking up from the laptop.

  
“Good. Nice to know I have one competent person working for me”. Sasha got up and walked over to her desk. Leaning with her back against it she looked over at the members of her staff.

  
“So... we’re two months into my historic reign as first ever quote on quote black vice-president. So far my green policies have not been implemented, my ‘Get Kids Healthy’ initiative has been vetoed by the President and my official vice presidential portrait looks nothing like me... What have we achieved people?!”

  
The room went quiet for a while, but Becky’s Irish brogue filled it. “Well, your first vice presidential visit to Denmark went well”

  
Sasha gave Becky a deadpan stare. “It’s Denmark, Becky. Fucking nothing happens in Denmark”.

  
Bayley was next to speak. “Ma’am, you did get that award from GLAAD for your continuous support of the LBGTQI plus community”.

  
“Yeah, a lotta good that’s gonna do me in the South come the next election”, Sasha muttered under her breath.

  
“Ma’am, we can do better admittedly, but your time in office has not been a complete disaster like many people thought it would be”.

  
“Gee, thanks Mike... That’s the sort of encouragement I need from my CHIEF ADVISOR!” Sasha took another deep breath and opened her mouth to speak, but Renee interjected.

  
“Ma’am... we have a problem”

  
“’Course we do, she’s sitting over there licking donut glaze off of her fingers”, Sasha said and gave Becky a mean side-eye

  
“Becky is one of our concerns yes, but this is POTUS”.

  
Sasha scratched at her chin and her mouth formed a snarl. “What did that human-lizard hybrid do now?”

  
“He was doing an interview in England and he appears to come across as pro-life”.

  
“Fuck me”, Mike said and threw one of the decorative pillows on the carpeted floor.

  
“HE DID WHAT?!”

  
“Yes ma’am. His exact words were ‘we the American people believe that the right to life outweighs the right to death. No life is more important than another and that includes the life of a fetus” Renee read off her laptop.

  
“Does POTUS not know we’re democrats? What the hell?”, Bayley asked and took out her phone. Scrolling through it, she confirmed that all the major news sites had the story.

  
“Ma’am, we have to make a statement”, Mike offered his assistance.

  
Sasha took her seat behind her desk. She motioned to Sami to give hand her her glasses.

  
“Obviously I can’t go against POTUS. If I do that it’ll look like there’s no unity in our camp...”

  
“But ma’am, we’re pro-choice. We always have been. We can’t lose the feminist vote”, Bayley noted.

  
“Martinez is right, we rely too heavily on the feminist vote to ruffle their feathers”, Dana added.

  
“God... what the hell do we do now?”, Sasha asked, hands in her hair.

  
“Becky needs to write a statement – we need to take a clear stance on the matter”, Mike said.

  
Sasha slowly nodded. “Yes – we need to get a statement out there before I have to be on GMA. ‘Cos those fuckers are definitely going to ask about this”. She snapped her fingers at Becky’s direction. “Alright Big Red, we need to issue a statement”.

  
Becky jumped up from the sofa. “Alright ma’am... I can do that. Are we pro-choice or pro-life?”

  
Sasha looked at Mike. “So... what are we?”

  
Mike looked at Dana. “Dana... what are we?”

  
Dana checked some statistics on her tablet. “We’d poll higher if we side with POTUS... but it might hurt us in the long run”.

  
Sasha sniffed a couple of times before addressing Becky. “Alright Becky... you need to make a statement about what our stance is without saying directly what our stance is”.

  
Becky had a look of utter bewilderment on her face. “But ma’am... You want me to write a statement saying absolutely nothing?”

  
“Yes, you koi fish. A statement without a statement. You’re the freaking press secretary”, Sasha pointed out.

  
Becky gave a quick nod and made her way out the office.

  
“What are all you people still doing here? Meeting over!”, Sasha asserted. Mike, Bayley, Dana and Renee all made their way out of Sasha’s office.

  
“Ma’am, Tyler says he may have found a nice Givenchy romper that –”

  
“Get the hell out Sami”, Sasha responded.

  
“Yes ma’am”.

**In the press conference . 10:24. Becky Lynch, press secretary to the veep is addressing the media**

“Good mornin’ to you all, thank you for coming. Yeah, even you Nia from New York Post”, Becky addressed the press. Her New York Post joke garnering some laughs.

  
“Alright, we’ll start with uh... Micki, Washington Post”.

  
The short brunette got up from her seat and held her recording device out in front of her.

“Miss Lynch, President Ambrose has made some pretty bold statements while away on his presidential trip to England. We really want to know what your boss is thinking at this moment in time”.

Becky nodded slowly and took a sip of water from the glass that had been placed for her on the podium. “Vice president Banks... has always been very clear”, Becky scratched the back of her neck. “...very clear about a lot of things. She was clear on immigration reform. She was clear on green energy. She was clear on LBGTQI plus rights”.

  
Bayley and Mike stood in their collective office, watching Becky on television.

  
“If there’s one thing she’s good at, it’s waffling around”, Mike said and took a sip of coffee.

  
Bayley nodded. “Might also be the only thing she’s good at”.

“She was clear on judicial reform. She was clear on so many contentious issues that we’re facing in our country today. And she still has strong and clear views on these issues”, Becky concluded.

  
“But miss Lynch, you still haven’t answered my question”, Micki James, veteran reported noted.

  
“Yes. Vice President Banks believes in forward thinking and innovation. In fact, we are visiting Hart Labs in the coming weeks to establish just how forward thinking we can all be”. Becky took another sip of water before she continued. “Hopefully this is the start of the veep’s hope for a greener and more sustainable future. Which she cares a great deal about”.

  
“Yes, but...”

  
“I’m sorry that’s all we have time for today. I hope you’ll understand. We are very busy people and we’re always on a mission”, Becky noted as she gathered her papers together. “And we can’t abort our missions, you know”.

  
The crowd of journalist got quiet for a few seconds, then began to hum again.

  
“Anyway, thank you for coming out”, Becky said and hurried backstage.

  
There she was greeted by an unimpressed Sasha.

  
“Abort? Really?”

  
“I’m sorry, ma’am... All this talk about abortion...”

  
“Get outta my sight”

  
“Yes ma’am”. Becky dashed away, leaving Sasha and Sami to follow in her wake.

  
“So has the stylist gotten back to you yet, Sami?”, Sasha asked.

  
“Yes ma’am. Givenchy romper in royal blue". 

  
“Urg... Royal blue is so tasteless. And I dislike Givenchy. Get me something from Balmain or Dior”, Sasha mused as she walked into her office, Sami following closely behind.

**The end**


	2. Hart Labs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha and her team are off the visit Hart Labs, a tech company with its finger on DC’s pulse. 
> 
> Hoping to make a good impression to secure some money for her eventual presidential campaign, Sasha brings along her veeple people – which already seems like a mistake.

**Sasha, Sami, Bayley, Becky and Dana get out of the limo and make their way up the steps towards the entrance of Hart Labs. 09:30**

“Alright ma’am, few things you need to know about Hart Labs: their CEO is Natalya Hart – she took over from her father after he passed away a few months ago. Havard Business School graduate and she has a keen sense of style. I follow her on Instagram – and she is like, fashion inspo... The other day she wore this YSL...”

 

“Thanks for nothing, Sami”, Sasha interrupted her body man. “I’m here to talk about a potential alliance with her, we’re not gonna rate each other’s outfits”.

 

“Ma’am, Hart Labs is a Fortune Five Hundred company and as far as I know, Miss Hart’s a liberal. Getting her on our side should be easy”

 

“Hmm, you say that now, Dana, but we all know bitchy rich women always try to drag these sorts of things out in an attempt to appear complex”, Sasha mused.

 

Before anyone could say anything else, they were greeted by a smiling blonde haired woman.

 

“Good morning madam vice president”, the woman said with a beaming smile. “I’m Alicia Fox, personal assistant to Miss Hart and chief of staff of Hart Labs. We welcome you to our headquarters here in Silicon Valley”.

 

“Well it’s quite a... a tonic to be here”, Sasha said with slight smile.

 

“If you and your party would kindly follow me, Miss Hart is in her conference room ready to receive you”.

 

Sasha and her gang followed the elegant and fleet footed Alica. 

 

“This is the fanciest place I’ve ever been in”, Becky said as she looked around the foyer.

 

“Becky, you’ve been in the White House”, Bayley noted with the shake of the head.

 

“Yeah and it’s nice... But this place is like the future”.

 

“Could you please shut up? We have to appear as if though we are not impressed by all this... this glass surface and space vending machines”, Sasha said in a hushed tone.

 

Alicia knocked on the glass door and then opened it. “Miss Hart, vice president Banks and her people are here”.

 

“Of course! Great. Let them in, let them in”, the slightly raspy voice of Natalya Hart could be heard.

 

Sasha and the others followed Alicia inside. Natalya got up from her seat at the head of the table and strutted over to shake Sasha’s hand.

 

“Madam vice president – it is truly an honour to meet you”.

 

“Likewise, miss Hart. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about your company and you”.

 

Natalya gave a dimpled smile. “Me? What could you possibly have heard about little old me?”

 

Sasha, flustered for once, glanced at Becky, then at Bayley. “Uhm...that you are quite the fashionista. Yeah... always with the latest Saint-Laurent”.

 

“Oh you are a treat, madam vice president!”, Natalya joked and gave Sasha a slight tap on the shoulder. “DC still has some real people left, I see. Please, take a seat”.

 

Sasha joined Natalya at the head of the table, but not before rolling her eyes at Sami’s uncontrollable smirk.

 

“So, Sasha – can I call you Sasha?”, Natalya asked as she swivelled in her chair.

 

“You can call me madam vice president”, Sasha said in a half annoyed, half bemused tone.

 

Natalya nodded. “Of course, my apologies ma’am. So Madam. Vice. President. As you know, Hart Labs is an innovative company. We strive to advance the USA... we have our country’s best interest... at heart”. She laughed at her own joke, with only Alicia and Sami finding it funny.

 

Sasha shot a look at Sami and he stops giggling. “Well, miss Hart, like you I too care about our great nation and that is why I am here today. To learn more about your company and to see how you can help the president and by implication, me”.

 

Natalya nodded her head and appeared deep in thought. She pointed to the large LED screen behind her. “I’d so love it if you would watch this little presentation I’ve been working on ma’am. I think it will help you to understand what it is we want from you and from the president”.

 

Sasha’s mouth formed a snarl. “Very well”.

 

“Great. PLAY VIDEO!”, Natalya said and the screen lit up by itself.

 

“So high tech”, Becky whispered into Bayley.

 

_For over 40 years Hart Labs has been at the forefront of innovation. We helped pioneer America’s technological advances and we have been the best there was, the best there is and the best there ever will be in terms of tech companies in this country. However, due to recent spikes in tech tax levies, we have been hampered by the same government we look to promote. We as a juristic person have been very public about our support from the Ambrose-Banks campaign and we have continued to show our support._

_We want to build a long-lasting relationship with the playmakers in DC, and we know they want a long-lasting relationship with us as well. Therefore, it is my suggestion that the policy makers in DC alleviate some of our tax concerns so that we can continue to advance the US’ technological aspirations and advance the Ambrose-Banks regime._

_Thank you._

The video stopped and Natalya smiled at Sasha, looking very pleased with herself. “So, madam vice president... Your thoughts?”

 

Sasha ran her tongue across her teeth a few times and looked at Natalya with some distain. “I don’t know why you couldn’t just say that straight to my face... but I hear you. And I want you to know that tax really isn’t what I do... we'd have to get the House Of Representatives involved and...”

 

“Oh, but you are the vice president. I’m sure you have some power... or is your position more... ceremonial?” Natalya asked with a glint in her eye and a smirk on her face.

 

Sasha cleared her throat, but Bayley was the one to speak. 

 

“The vice president has a lot of power and one of her closest friends happens to be Speaker of the House, Shane McMahon”.

 

“Well, then it shouldn’t be a problem”.

 

“But if Vice President Banks does this little, illegal favour for you... Don’t you think you need to do something of similar grandeur for her. And only her?”

 

Natalya mused over Bayley’s words. “So only the veep gets the reward and not president Ambrose?”

 

Bayley nodded. “It would be her contacts and not his”.

 

Natalya smiled and seemed convinced. “Well then, I’m sure we can work something out in terms of... compensation. Maybe a donation to your... AIDS Fund? ”.

 

“VP Banks doesn't have an...Oh, right", Becky mumbled. Bayley got out of her seat. Becky, Dana and Sami followed.

 

“And just so you know, Natalya... it’s gonna take a lot of convincing for me to go behind the president’s back... so make sure that compensation of yours measures up, m’kay”, Sasha added before she too got up from her seat.

 

“Did you maybe want to see some of the projects we’re working on, madam vice president?”, Alicia asked hopefully.

 

“No thanks – I need to get back to DC – I fucking hate California”.

 

**Air Force Two, on their way back to DC. 14:25**

“I swear, that is the most arrogant woman I have ever met”, Sasha said and she picked at her fruit salad. “Sami, why the hell is there mango in this?”

 

“Sorry ma’am, I’ll get a new one”.

 

“Don’t be an idiot – just take all the mango out”.

 

Becky had her hands full with a cream cheese bagel. “That’s how these rich people operate, ma’am”, she said with cream cheese all over her face.

 

“Hopefully she donates enough to the campaign to make this all worthwhile”, Dana added.

 

“We can’t focus on that right now because thanks to Bayley, I need to meet with that cum guzzling, mid life crisis asshole McMahon”. Sasha gave Bayley a mean side-eye.

 

“Ma’am, we needed to convince Natalya that we could do it”.

 

“Yeah, next time, keep your mouth shut”.

 

“Yes, ma’am”. Bayley looked down and scrolled through her phone again.

 

“And where the hell is Sami with my fucking fruit salad?!”

 

**The end**

 


	3. Elementary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha has to visit an elementary school and talk to the kids about politics. She also introduces a new member to the team, much to the dismay of both Becky and Bayley.

**Sasha, Sami, Bayley and Becky are in the limo on their way to JFK Memorial Elementary. 10:45**

  
“Why does POTUS never do these sorts of trips? Why do I have to be the one stuck with entertaining a bunch of snotty nose kids?” Sasha asked, looking out the window of the limo.

  
“POTUS is on a trip to Egypt, ma’am” Bayley noted, not looking up from her iPhone.

  
“Well I hope he gets caught in a crossfire of some sort and d...”

  
“Ma’am, we still have to set up a meeting with Speaker Shane McMahon. His PA said he’s available at two this afternoon”, Bayley interjected.

  
“Good”, Sasha looked over at Sami. “Make sure I have a fresh outfit after I’m done here. Something that shows off my boobs preferably”.

  
“Uhm, ma’am, Shane McMahon is, according to his mistress who I may or may not have tracked down to help gain some info on him, an ass man”, Sami said bashfully.

  
“Oh, well I got plenty of that”, Sasha said with a smirk.

 

**In the hallway of JFK Memorial Elementary. 11:21**

  
“Madam vice president, it is such an honour to meet you. I voted for you”, headmistress Stratus said as she walked Sasha and the gang to the first class.

  
“Well, it didn’t really help”, Sasha joked.

  
“We are so honoured to have you here, ma’am. And we hope you’ll stay for the light lunch we’ve prepared for after the talks with the children”.

  
Sasha looked at Bayley, who shook her head viciously. “Unfortunately I won’t be able to attend. I have some vice presidential business to... get to”.

  
Stratus nodded. “Of course ma’am”.

  
The headmistress knocked on the classroom door before opening it. “Good morning everyone”, she said in a singsong tone. She stood out of the way so Sasha and her posse could enter the classroom.

 

All the children got up from their seats and gave an obviously rehearsed “good moooorning Vice President Banks”.

 

Sasha smiled at the class of about twenty kids. “Oh well, aren’t you all just the cutest. Good morning to all of you, too”.

  
The teacher, a raven haired woman with bright red lips was next to greet Sasha.

 

“Madam vice president, it is an honour to meet you”, she said ans she held out her hand. Sasha shook it disinterestedly. “My name is Brie Bella. I teach third graders”.

 

“Hmm”, Sasha mused and looked over at the children. “So, boys and girls – I am here today to tell you all about the presidency. Who’s excited?”

 

“I thought you were just the vice president”, a blonde, curly haired boy said.

  
“Well, I am the first black female vice president so...”

  
“You don’t look black”, a little cocoa skinned girl voiced.

  
Sasha cleared her throat and muttered, “what kind of Klansman children are they teaching here?”, to Sami.

  
“The vice president is half black and has German ancestry. Now do any of you have any questions for vice president Banks?”, Bayley spoke.

  
A ginger haired girl raised her hand.

  
“Hey look Becky, your lovechild with Sami has manners – learn for her”, Sasha whispered over at her press secretary. “Yes, sweety?”

  
The girl stood up before she spoke. “Madam vice president, when you were running for office, you said you would implement more green policies and during the Ambrose-Banks presidential campaign you said you will start a ‘clean jobs’ initiative that would help the environment and alleviate some of the unemployment in the country. Why have these promises not come into fruition?”

  
Becky and Sami both stood in open-mouth awe of the ginger’s question. Bayley swallowed deep and tried to lose herself in her iPhone readings.

 

Sasha looked to Brie Bella, the back at the girl, then back at Brie.

  
“Oh this is Amethyst – she’s one of our brightest students and she has a keen eye for politics”, the teacher said.

  
“Huh – then she should come work for me. She’s already smarted than half of my staff”, Sasha joked. “Alright well, Amethyst... you asked a very impressive and nuanced question, uh, which tells me that this is a very good school. And really, that’s why I’m here... to meet some of DC’s brightest minds. I really hope you keep up that love of politics, because we need smart people like up on the Hill. Next question?”

 

**The vice president’s office. Sasha has changed outfits and is ready to meet with Speaker of the House, Shane McMahon. 13:14.**

  
“I cannot believe the kids at that school... It’s not Yale – why are they so freaking smart?”, Sami asked as he zipped up Sasha’s dress.

 

“I blame the internet. They just Google and Twitter everything these days”, Sasha said with a sigh. She spun around in front of Sami. “So, how do I look?”

  
The body man swallowed hard. “Y-you look as beautiful as ever ma’am”.

  
“I know”, Sasha said confidently.

  
There was a knock on the door and before Sasha could say ‘come in’, Renee was already in the office, followed by an annoyed looking Bayley, Becky with a stack of papers and a smoothie and a tall, broad and bearded man.

  
“Ma’am what is he doing here?”, Bayley asked and pointed to the man.

  
“Oh right”, Sasha walked over and rested her hand on the man’s shoulder. “This is Elias Samson and he is my new director of communications. By the way Becky, he’s your  new boss”

  
“What?!”, Becky asked, spilling some of her berry smoothie on the papers.

  
“Yes. You’re an incompetent fool and Elias isn’t, so he will be managing my press releases and speeches and so on”.

  
“Hello, I am Elias”, he said in a smug and authoritative manner.

  
Bayley pulled Sasha to the side and whispered, “Ma’am, he’s a total jackass. He used to work for Senator Phoenix and he threw her under the bus during that deposition last year”

  
“Yes, Bayley, but he did so to protect our party”.

  
“But ma’am, he is the lowest of the low. When people ask ‘what’s wrong with DC?’ the answer is always ‘Elias Samson’”.

  
Sasha nodded as if she was actually paying attention to Bayley’s concerns. It was evident that she wasn’t when she spun around and continued addressing everyone in the room.

  
“Sami and I are on our way to meet with McMahon. Elias, I want you to join us”.

  
“Certainly ma’am”, he said with a wry smile.

  
“B-but ma’am, I was supposed to go with you. I have all your notes here... granted some of them are covered in smoothie...”

  
“Elias is coming with me Becky. You can upload some of the pictures I took with those horrible children onto my social media sites”.

 

Sasha waltzed over to the door with Sami and Elias following swiftly behind.

  
“I can’t fuckin’ believe this. That Yeti comes in here and steals me job?”, Becky said, slumping down onto the couch.

  
Bayley shook her head. “Oh your job is safe... I know Elias – and I know what he wants”.

  
“What is it? Can we use it to destroy him?”, Becky asked, sipping on what remained of her smoothie.

  
“He wants to be chief of staff. He wants my job”.

 

** The End **


	4. Sofia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha is on an international trip to Sofia, Bulgaria to discuss trade relations with their president. Unfortunately for her, her veeple people have gone with.

**Sofia, Bulgaria. Sasha, Sami, Bayley, Becky, Mike and Elias are all in Sofia, Bulgaria to discuss trade relations with President Rusev Barnyashev. 13:29**

 

“Ma’am, isn’t it so awesome how POTUS nominated you to come here and discuss the US’ trade relation with Bulgaria?”, Becky asked as she read through one of the pamphlets of the hotel they were staying in.

 

“Too bad we had to come to this useless fucking city’, Sasha said with a scowl on her face. “Why can’t I ever be deployed to a sexier city, like Paris or Milan?”

 

“President Barnyashev and his delegation should be arriving shortly, ma’am”, Bayley said as she scrolled through her phone.

 

“Ma’am, President Rusev is very, very proud of his trophy wife Lana – make sure to compliment him on having such a lovely wife. But don’t compliment her, because he won’t like it”, Sami noted.

 

“Oh God”, Sasha said and took a sip of water.

 

“Also, if you don’t understand him, don’t ask him to repeat himself. It angers him”, Mike added.

 

“Well what’s he gonna do? Punch me in the face?”

 

“We don’t know their Bulgarian customs, ma’am”, Becky mused.

 

Before Sasha could respond, she heard the loud, accented voice of the Bulgarian president.

 

“Vice president Banks! Here in my country. I wanted Ambrose, but I settle for you”, he said with a belly laugh. Sasha smiled and took him up on his invitation for a handshake.

 

“President Barnyashev, thank you so much for welcoming me and my staff to your gorgeous country”.

 

“What? This place?”, Rusev looked around him. “It’s a dump – that’s why I have six month vacation in Monaco”. He gave a hearty laugh again. “But yes, we are very happy to have you here in Bulgaria”.

 

Bayley was next to speak. “President Barnyashev, I’m Bayley Martinez, chief of staff and I was hoping your delegation and vice president Banks’ delegation could discuss our respective countries’ trade relations over dinner this evening”.

 

Rusev looked over to his right-hand man, a tall and pale fella and then to his shockingly blonde wife.

 

“We can certainly do dinner. In fact, my wife Lana has new recipe she wants to try”.

 

Lana beamed with excitement. 

 

“She is the best cook. Number one cook. I tell her ‘no cooking for you’, but she do it anyway”.

 

Sasha nodded her head. “Yes... you certainly did well for yourself President Barnyashev”.

 

“Then you will meet us at presidential residence at seven. We have dinner, we discuss business, yes?”

 

“Excellent”.

 

Rusev hummed in agreement and followed his aide, his wife and two of his security personnel out the hotel’s conference room.

 

“Talk about excessive testosterone”, Sasha muttered under her breath.

 

“Ma’am, we need to make sure this meeting goes well. If POTUS sees us excelling at international relations he might give you a bigger role in the administration”, Mike spoke.

 

“Relax. It’s just dinner – we’ll eat some turnips, or whatever it is people eat in this country – and we’ll talk trade relations”. Sasha got up from her seat and made her way to the exit, Sami following closely behind.

 

Mike and Bayley made their way out of the conference room too, leaving only Elias and Becky.

 

“Don’t you have work to do?”, Elias asked as he read something on his phone.

 

“I dunno. You’re me boss”.

 

“Well, the vice president has a very small following on social media. We need to make her a bigger presence on Twitter and Instagram. You could start working on that”. Elias made his way out of the conference room too.

 

“How the hell am I ‘spose to do that?!”

 

**Arriving at the presidential residence. 18:47.**

 

“Alright ma’am, we’re early so I figured we’d go through some prep before the meeting with President Rusev”, Elias said as he took out his iPad from his satchel.

 

“Nice man-bag by the way”, Becky said in a mocking tone. Elias paid her no mind and continued speaking to the veep.

 

“Bulgaria’s relationship with Croatia has soured in recent months, we need to...”

 

“Holy mother of Satan”, Bayley said all of a sudden, looking at screen of her iPhone.

 

“What? What is it, Bayley?”, Sasha asked frantically.

 

“Ma’am, why did you post ‘Bulgaria is BULLgaria LOL’ on Twitter?”

 

“WHAT?!”

 

“All the news sites have it. Apparently it was posted about an hour ago”.

 

“I didn’t post that – Sami has my phone”, Sasha said, swiftly looking over to her aide.

 

A flustered Sami responded quickly. “Becky asked if she could borrow your phone for quote on quote ‘vice presidential business’”.

 

Now everyone looked to Becky, who was struggling to get signal on her own phone.

 

“What in the risen fuck did you do now, you Bozo The Clown looking fucker?!”

 

“Madam vice president, I can expl...”

 

The door opened before Becky could continue.

 

“Madam vice president and other honoured guests, please come in”, the tall, pale man said in perfect American English. Sasha and her staff followed him inside.

 

The Bulgarian presidential residence was lavishly decorated.

 

“President Rusev is already waiting for you in the dining room. Our head of international relations Mr Dzeko is also here”.

 

“Did you at least delete the post?”, Mike whispered into Becky.

 

“Well obviously I will now”.

"You haven't already?!"

 

"I thought I saved it as a draft".

 

“Ah! Madam vice president, so glad you could make it”. Rusev got up and warmly shook Sasha’s hand. “This is Zlatko Dzeko, head of international relation”.

 

The bald, straight-faced man also shook Sasha’s hand.

 

“Pleased to meet you, Mr Dzeko”.

 

“Please, madam vice president, have a seat. You people can sit, too”.

 

Becky slid into the chair next to Elias. She leaned over and whispered. “Thanks to you, the veep is gonna be in a shitload of shit once these people find out about the tweet”.

 

“Fuck you, Boston Legal. I didn’t say insult the country with which we are trying to forge a successful relationship with”.

 

“The veep’s Twitter and Instagram was fine before you said it needed more presence. The fuck does that even mean?”

 

“Everything alright between you staff there, madam vice president?”, Rusev asked over his glass of whiskey.

 

“Of course – I’m sure they’re just excited about dinner. Where is your lovely wife anyway?”

 

As if on cue, Lana waltzed into the dining room looking as radiant and ravishing as ever. She was winged by two waiters, each with two plates.

 

“Appetizer is tarator. Cold soup made of yogurt, cucumber, garlic and sunflower oil”, she said with a flashing smile. “I also add radish and broccoli rabe”.

 

Sasha looked down at the light green bowl of food in front of her. “Looks... like a real treat”.

 

“Is it like tzatziki?”, Bayley asked

 

“NO!”, Lana said loud and angrily.

 

“Oh... my apologies then”.

 

The waiters brought more of the soup out and once everyone at the table was served, Rusev announced that they could dig in.

 

“Wow... this is quite something, Lana. Thank you for cooking this delicious... food”, Sasha said and plastered on a smile.

 

“Thank you”, Lana said and ate more of the tarator.

 

Becky was done before anybody else was. She took a giant glug of white wine, cleared her throat and spoke. “The vice president is all about nice, relaxing dinners with important people such as yourself in countries as lovely as yours, but we are here to talk trade”.

 

“Ah yes. We must talk trade”, Rusev said. “So... what can we... Bullshit Bulgarians do for you?”

 

Sasha just ran her tongue across her teeth a few times while looking down.

 

“President Barnyashev... we... we”, Bayley began.

 

“We were hacked by... Russian hackers. The poor vice president was so distraught when she found out that her private emails and texts had been leaked. Not to mention her social media being controlled by these Russians... But she knew she needed to come here and have this dinner meeting with you”, Elias said calmly.

 

“Yeah – I was sadly hacked, president Barnyashev”, Sasha said and looked down.

 

“Damn these Russians!”, Rusev said slamming his fists on the table. “I apologize for ever accusing you of such childish behaviour, madam vice president”.

 

Sasha waved his apology away and gave sad smile. “We’re all just out here doing the best we can for our countries”.

 

**On Air Force Two, flying back to the US. 12:11**

“God, I’m so fucking glad to be out of that horrendous country”. Sasha took a sip of bottled water and nodded towards Becky. “And you are no longer in charge of my social media accounts. Elias can do that”.

 

“But ma’am, it was an honest mistake”

 

“That’s the problem”.

 

Bayley scooted closer to Sasha and handed the veep her iPad. “Natalya Hart says her meeting with Shane McMahon went well and that we’ll be receiving our payment shortly”.

 

“Well if you’re going to tell me what she said in the email, I don’t have to read it, do I Bayley?”

 

“No ma’am”.

 

“And that fucking bitch better give us at least ten million”. Sasha shook her head. “You know... a lot people don’t want us in DC. Lots more don’t want me in the White House, because I’m black, and my chief of staff is Mexican, my body man’s an Arab and Becky is...”

 

Becky’s mouth was full of the ham and cheese ciabata she was eating. “An Irish immigrant”.

 

“No, a fucking idiot”, Sasha corrected. “But we’re gonna get there. I will be the first female president of the United States”.

 

**The end**

 


	5. Bye-bye POTUS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha is on the campaign trail when there's a big shake up in DC.

**Sasha on stage in Little Rock, Arkansas at a Banks-rally. 19:23**

  
_“When I think about real America, I think about real Americans. Real Americans are real people, and real people make America. And you people, are real...people”._

  
“Jesus, Becky. Did you write that shit?”, Bayley asked as she chewed on an energy bar.

  
“Fuckin’ Elias is too busy running the damn campaign to write speeches and the veep wants new material for every city we visit”.

  
_“When I was a young... uh, younger girl... I always wanted to be president and my mother, rest her soul would say ‘Sasha, you’re not just gonna be president – you’re gonna be the best president these United States has ever had”._

  
“She is so inspiring”, Sami mused, watching his boss from backstage.

  
“When do mid-terms end? I feel like we’ve been on the road for weeks”, Bayley said as she opened another energy bar.

  
“Three more days. Our last stop is in Nevada. And yes, that’s how you it is actually pronounced”, Dana said as she emerged from the shadows. “Mike says everything at the office is going smoothly, thanks to Renee no doubt”.

  
_“So I salute you – real Americans. And I thank you for your continued support. Thank you so much! Thank you!”_

  
Sasha hurried backstage and kicked off her six inch heels. “Fuck my existence”, she said as she slumped down on a fold out steel chair.

  
“Can I get you anything, ma’am?”

  
“You can get me everything. Can you do that?”, Sasha asked her ginger body man”.

  
“Of course ma’am”, Sami said and scurried away in search of everything.

  
“Dana, how’s the polling going? I really need it to be good numbers or else the last few weeks would’ve been for nothing”.

  
“Yes, madam vice president”, Dana scrolled through her iPad. “It seems like your numbers have risen in the states of Idaho and Kentucky. As you will remember, they were awfully low during primaries. But a spike is projected for you in both”.

  
“Dana, I’m a _black woman_... I’m never winning Idaho and Kentucky. Give me something with a little more credibility”.

  
Dana shifted her glasses before reading off her tablet again. “Support for you have spiked 17% in New York State and 12% in Colorado, ma’am”.

  
“Well that’s more like”, Sasha said with a grin. Just then Sami arrived with a bottle of water and cubed fruit in a Tupperware bowl.

  
“Evian and cut up peaches, apple and pear for you , ma’am”.

  
“Nice”, Sasha said as she took as sip of water. “Is the bus ready to go? I can’t stand another minute of these middle America fuckers”.

 

**In DC. Elias’ office. 09:25**

  
“Okay so the veep is on her way to Carson City, Nevada and then she’s expected back in DC by Wednesday”, Renee said as she typed away on her Macbook.

  
“Good... That is good. Once she’s back we can talk about getting here ready for...”

  
“Yo, yo, yo! It’s your boy K.O! West Wing playa and all-round slayer. What’s good, Elias?”

  
“You should really knock, you retarded bag of jizz”.

  
Kevin Owens, White House liaison, just grinned at Elias. “Whatever man, the president of the United States sent me over here to tell you that he wants to have a meeting with VP Banks as soon as she’s back”.

  
“And he sent you to tell us? He couldn’t just call or text Sasha?”, Elias asked.

  
“I’m the messenger of the president. The Hermes to the White House gods – I deliver all the important POTUS news”.

  
“Yeah, right Kevin. I’m sure the president only sent you because he wanted to get rid of you”. Elias got up from his office chair and walked towards his door, opening it, he motioned for Kevin to leave.

  
“POTUS and I are like, super close. You’re just jealous because I work in the West Wing and you’re stuck here, filling the ladies’ restroom tampon dispensary”. Kevin said as he made his way out of Elias’ office. “Later, bitches!”

  
**In a hotel room in Carson City, Nevada. 14:26**

  
“Elias just texted me ma’am. Apparently POTUS wants to meet with you as soon as land in DC”, Bayley read off of her iPhone.

  
“Jesus... what low-level Euro-trash country does he want me to visit next?” Sasha poured herself a whiskey and sat down on the hotel bed.

  
“Not a little early to be drinking, ma’am?”, Sami asked while steaming Sasha’s dress for the evening.

  
“Shut up, Sami”.

  
Just then the door flung open and Becky stumbled in with a stack of papers, a red binder and a half eaten pastrami sandwich.

  
“Sorry I’m late, ma’am – but I was working on your speech for tonight’s rally. There might be some mustard stains on there and frankly I dunno how it got there...”

  
“Calm down, Pennywise. I’ve become accustomed to your food stained documents”. Sasha held out her hand and Becky handed her the speech.

  
“I spoke to Titus O’Neill’s campaign manager and it seems like things are going well in their camp. He’s got a lot of support”. Becky was taking bites in between speaking.

  
“He does appear to be a threat ma’am. Ex militarily man, Cornell graduate, charming, handsome...”

  
“Well why don’t you go fuck him, Dana? This is my campaign to win. I am going to be the party’s nominee. I already have POTUS’ blessing because he’s not running again, I have the feminist vote, the Latino and the gay vote. Titus O’Neill is not going to steal my black vote”.

  
“You will be the party’s candidate ma’am. I have full belief that you will be the first female president”, Sami said.

  
“You know nothing, Sami”.

**Sasha on stage in Carson City. 19:55**

  
“ _As a nation, we need to join together and climb the mountain of democracy to reach the peak – the peak that is liberty. Now I have never climbed a mountain... but I have been to the top and I WANT TO REACH THAT TOP AGAIN!”_

  
“I have to commend you on the crap you continue to write, Becks. Really, no one bullshits as hard as you”.

  
“Thank you, Bayley”, Becky said and smiled – very pleased with herself. “You know, I was thinking about my future... I’m 31 now and I need to think about a contingency plan If Sasha doesn’t become the party’s candidate, there’s no way the actual candidate’s gonna choose her as a running mate. We’ll be out of DC is a flash – pun intended”.

  
Bayley nodded. “So... what’s up?”

  
“I got me an interview lined up with the WNBA – as their director of communications. I put you down as a reference, so if they call ya, just put in a good word for me”.

  
Bayley sighed. “You don’t know anything about basketball”.

  
“Well, I dunno anything about politics and yet 'ere we are”.

  
Bayley was about to speak when her phone vibrated in her pocket. “Jesus, it’s fucking Elias again”.

  
“What’s with the two of ya anyway? All that sexual tension”.

  
“There is no sexual tension”, Bayley scoffed and answered her phone. “What?”

  
“Gee, nice to hear your voice, too”

  
“What do you want, mountain man?”

  
“Where’s the veep?”

  
“On stage, charming the heck out of the crowd”.

  
“Okay – get her to leave the stage and hurry back to DC as soon as humanly possible”.

  
“What? Why?”

  
“I can’t talk about it over the phone, Bayley”.

  
“Well then I can’t promise that I’m gonna haul the vice president off the stage and get her ass on the earliest flight to DC”.

  
“Fuck. Why do you always have to makes things so hard?”

  
“I can’t help it if I make you hard, Elias, but you need to tell me what’s going on”.

  
“Ha! Nice grown-up joke. You finally hit puberty huh?”

  
“Oh yeah. Hit puberty before you”.

  
“Call me when your boobs come in”.

  
“You didn’t call me when yours came in”

  
“Fuck, Bayley... Sasha is gonna be president”.

  
“Well yeah, hopefully she...”

  
“POTUS is resigning... Sasha is the VP... for the next year and a half, Sasha Banks is going to be the president of the United States”.

**The end**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was honestly the most fun I've had writing in a long ass time.


End file.
